I received my physical copy of My Name Is Michael Holbrook and the album cover art is as beautiful as it can be. I’ve never really liked plastic CD covers so I look forward to the vinyl version and seeing the illustration in full size but still, it’s nice to be able to hold the album in my hands.

For many years Mika’s music has been almost like an imaginary friend to me. I say almost as I speak on a metaphoric level but that’s how it has felt. I’m often alone and whenever I have questions or need an advice or feel particularly happy or sad and have no one to share it with I just pick a song and listen to it and it always kind of solves the situation. The song makes me think of something else and I later choose another song and what happens is an ongoing conversation between my own thoughts and different Mika songs.

It has always felt so normal and happened so naturally. My family has encouraged me to listen to music in an intensive way and every time I go to see a concert all those songs my imagination is using at home suddenly become alive. At gigs everything feels so real. I travel for many reasons but seeing Mika on stage is always magical.

My Name Is Michael Holbrook (MNIMH) was released almost three weeks ago and listening to it is clearly different than listening to the previous Mika albums.

This time I can’t so easily choose songs to match with my own mood. The songs on MNIMH are too strong for that. Different songs keep playing in my head at different moments whether I want that or not and I don’t listen to them to reflect my own feelings. I listen to them and I feel someone else’s feelings and I can’t help it, those feelings and emotions are massive and they come and take over me. They are in all colors and some of them are really dark and I just cry and I can’t control that at all.

It’s not possible to see these songs the same way I usually see music, Mika’s presence comes through them so powerfully, that’s how personal this album is.

I admire how well he’s managed to put what’s happening in his life into these songs. Every emotion feels so realistic. I listen to the album and I think he must have given a lot of thought to many difficult issues in his life and then come to the conclusion that to cope we all need to accept all the colors, even the dark ones and that all those tones can be beautiful as they are and I see that a very mature way to look at life.

MNIMH is mature in many ways. Despite of the title it’s not self-centered at all. I can see Mika wrote this album to show love to his loved ones – especially to his mother – and the way it’s done is absolutely beautiful and touches my heart in a deep way. It’s easy to feel that love when listening to the songs.

MNIMH is not only realistic and loving, it’s also understanding and tolerant. I listen to Blue and this song is serious but doesn’t leave me sad at all. It leaves me just calm, maybe for that reason it’s my favorite on the album, and even though I can’t know what the song is about I can hear the message telling “I can’t feel the same pain you do or fully understand where it comes from but it doesn’t matter, your feelings are still real and beautiful as a part of you” and that’s something amazingly mature, understanding, tolerant and accepting to say to another person.

There are many obvious themes and messages in different songs but I feel there’s even more hidden underneath and that for once I shouldn’t think or analyze too much, I shouldn’t force those things out, I should just listen and wait if they will come out voluntarily. Maybe that will happen, at least I keep waking up in the middle of the night and new images and ideas seem to appear.

Instead of analyzing I just focus on handling those strong emotions, sometimes even too strong for me, and I try to pay attention to different details. I love it how after calming down with Blue I’m suddenly surprisingly ready to stay high and that transition moment is my biggest smiling moment on the whole album. I want to stay high so badly. X